Feedback (giving and receiving)

Working with a new team always carries some challenges. Different approaches to work, different communication styles, different expectations… so many differences! Frictions are bound to happen.

Something that I have been working on for the past few years is improving my ability to give and receive feedback. For this, I have listened to podcasts, read articles/books and talked to experienced people. I have come to some conclusions (even though “conclusion” is the wrong word, as it is always a “work in progress” – I’d love to hear your ideas!):

• Giving positive feedback is twice as important than giving negative feedback. We tend to remember to give feedback only when we want to complain, but praising others helps create a more open environment, where people feel “safer”. It also generally boosts other people’s self-esteem, which is generally great for team dynamics.
• When giving negative feedback, it is important to be honest and specific, without sugarcoating: sugarcoating confuses others that (as stated above) have a different communication style than yours. Obviously, you also should remember you are talking with a human being with their own insecurities, so don’t be an @#»! For this, the Radical Candor framework by Kim Scott helps (thanks to my mentor Frances for sharing it with me!).
• Be as open minded as possible when receiving feedback. Let others surprise you, whether it’s in a negative or a positive way. Don’t bring your own personal beliefs about yourselves to the table. I know, easier said than done… right? It’s a matter of practice, and we all have good and bad days.
• That said, remember you don’t have to blindly accept any feedback others give you. While they have the advantage of being an external observers, you are the person that knows YOU the best, so try to evaluate the feedback rationally and take from it what is useful to YOU.
• Be specific also when requesting feedback: what do you want to know? What will you use this information for? Again, we all have different communication styles, so try to bridge the gaps as much as possible.

These are my main guiding principles for feedback lately. Do you agree? What would you add?